When retirement brings relationship challenges

The years approaching retirement are the easiest.......right? Fewer demands on our time, more freedom, finally the chance to get to know each other again now the children have grown up, what's not to love?!!

But......in therapy I find it is common to meet couples in their 60's and 70's who are going through a crises brought on by this monstrous life-change that they didn't see coming.

This can be painful and disarming. After decades together couples may feel they should be content. When tension, conflict and frustration takes it's place it can provoke fear about where the relationship is heading.

What can I expect if we come for therapy?

Couples Therapy in later life is not there to point the finger of blame; neither is it about reopening old wounds. Instead it offers a time for reflection and understand each person's history, attachment style and defences that have developed over time.

You may find that one or both of you need to address what is being lost at this time of your life, understand how your past is affecting present reactions or re-negotiate your closeness or independence.

For some, this leads to renewed connection and intimacy. for others, it supports thoughtful conversations about how to live alongside each other from now on with considerably less conflict and a greater understanding about where the other one is coming from.

Time well spent.